What better way to say "I care" than with a well-chosen emoticon

I love emoticons. And by that I mean I <3 emoticons. With most of my beloveds located around the world, most of my communication is conducted via IM, email and text messages (I find phone calls to be SO archaic). For moments such as, I often find conveying proper e-emotion to be a very fragile situation which requires the delicacy of handling newborn baby chick with a missing leg and a Napoleon complex. It's tough.

By personal jest law, I am required to mitigate the distance issue by cracking a joke (that might not sound much like a joke). As a substitute for voice inflection, it might go something like this:

So-and-so: Damn, I really feel like crap today.

Sarah: Yeah? I bet you look like crap today.


There's only one way to save this....


So-and-so: Damn, I really feel like crap today.

Sarah: Yeah? I bet you look like crap today. :D

No tears. No ended friendships. Just the understanding that my dry sense of humor and sarcasm shouldn't be taken for more than just that. Assume I am always laughing or joking when I say mean and hurtful things. And if a day shall come that the emoticon makers make a middle finger emoticon, then you know when I'm crossing a line.

Until then....